Monday, August 27, 2007

Raksha Bandhan & 100 Reasons You are still single



Raksha Bandhan (the bond of protection in Hindi) is a Hindu festival and also Sikh festival, which celebrates the relationship between brothers and sisters. It is celebrated on the full moon of the month of Shraavana and in 2007 it falls on August 28. Wiki fans go this way .

I used to wonder in school. You know Indian schools, we have this daily ‘National Pledge’ goes like “India is my country. All Indians are my brothers and sisters…” My teachers made a fool out of me till 6th standard. After that I used to keep mum while this portion come “..and sisters”!
Then I realized my brothers are with us, u know u’ll feel a huge silence after “All Indians are my BROTHERS.”! [ read the full stop] Then couple of years after my ‘sisters’ fall in to our story.

Hmm! So tomorrow Its Rakhi - big celebration everywhere. Brothers are so excited, they gonna prove wearing one fine silk twain on their wrist showing off how many sisters he’s been protecting! Not bad! Let those Card makers make some money and India will be benefited from some consumer spending - kick ass economics - yeshh babe!

My office, so called firm built on disruptive innovation celebrating the the bond of protection! WOW! The head of Branding had an idea - what about one Rakhi completion? The Most famous BROTHER will get a prize!!! Hmmm! [ Brother of the Year is better ]

Yeh! True - Out of Box thinking is so passe thesedays!

I was wondering what am I gonna do - I’m not evern sure, my real sister gonna think about a Rakhi for me or not! I love my sister for that. She’s pretty smart that way.

My Friend is getting married, my grad school classmate, 25 yr old young professional.
So my parents and sister is on a mission - Find a chcik for me.

Mom called me up yesterday “Look son, your friend’s getting married, Im at Murali’s engagement function, and I’ve found a nice girl for ya , one of my friends daughter, IIT Madras working with Texas Instruments, GMAT score 740! 20 more than yours, nice girl, she learned classical music for 12 years, planning to goto CMU for her MS - a good match for ya. What say?” [ Mom! You should be in RAW]

Mammmaaa! You are making me proud, I’m feeling like Johny Bravo! I said “Let her live mom, and lemme enjoy whom I am”
“What you mean by enjoy? Do you have a life?” [Fuck - news is wide spread now]

Answer: Mom, I’m not interested in ANYONE who are druggies, enjoy porn and are alcoholics.And for your information, I found one and I’m applying for her! Her invitation is here

There’s this girl asked me “Kris, why don’t you love me, look I’ve got everything, I’m a professional, I do have dreams, My friends say I’m passionate, It’s true that I’m not a OC fan and dream about SmallVille ‘s wet shots - But I do love you”

Answer: “Wow, women of America, you’ve straightened your hair. You’ve really straightened your hair. Couldn’t be any straighter. What do you call that? Limp? It’s pointy, actually. Like a headdress of chopsticks.

Yeah. Well, it’s a tough life to write everyday. Eventually you end up demonstrating you’re human and looking stupid.”

Sup, Dude!

100 Reasons?

  • Call Grey’s Anatomy simply “Grey’s”
  • Have entertained the notion that “the Axe Effect” is real
  • Own tie-dyed gym clothes
  • Purchased your dining room set with Marlboro Miles
  • Have written poetry inside a Starbucks
  • Call sex “the squishy squish”
  • Have only one pickup line: “Why the long face?”
  • Can’t stop missing Anna Nicole
  • Won’t travel anywhere out of “blading distance”
  • Flash devil horns in wedding photos
  • Eat with one arm guarding your plate
    Own a calendar featuring babies dressed as cowboys
  • Refuse to remove your Bluetooth earpiece during sex
  • Converse with angels
  • Have ever said: “That’s sooo Sagittarius”
  • Display samurai swords in your office
  • Own a 60-inch flat-screen plasma television but sleep on a broken futon

Disclaimer: I’m Straight and I hate Gays.

I think I need a girlfriend, the so-called trophy stuff. And I know it’s not the right time to propose a girl, [I’m so scared of Rakhis]

I’m looking for a girl friend.

  • Brainless beauty is a toy forever
  • Understands Jimmy Choo is not a Chinese Restaurant
  • Bought up reading Calvin & Hobbes,Scientific American and Wired Magazine
  • Date means any quality time with her partner, not sitting and yarning in a I-tha-liOn restorant
  • Comfortable taking anything from Porn to Private Equity
  • Self starter in everything, including bedroom - I’m a lazy ass
  • Strict NO-NO for ‘no-speaky-english’ babes

if you are scoring more than 90% mail me, I’ll forward the complete list.

And my future babe, the song’s for you - just for you!

 

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